FROM THE VAULT

Here’s a song I’d forgotten all about until Field Marshall Fritze reminded me with a lyric quotation this morning. The thing is when I located the lyric sheet and re-read I realised it was a damn, good song with the kind of incisive wit that I once had at my fingertips and that Will Anderson and Hughesy can only vaguely aspire to.

Maybe I should put it out as one of the songs on my long planned country album. Here it is … to a country beat with pedal steel.

CHANNEL TWO

(written Easter 77)

I’m sick and tired of Andy Williams in my loungeroom at Easter time

Celluloid heaven on Channel 7 and The Waltons on Channel 9

What happened to Pontious Pilate and the evil boys we knew?

I’m by myself you don’t love me, there’s heartache on Channel 2

And Oh Darlin’ I’m in a violent mood

So frustrated ‘cause the x-rated flicks ain’t on my tube

I’m the sort of person who just can’t live with me

To get this hatred off my chest I got to do it vicariously

I hate the thought of sippin’ my flat beer while my flat-mate’s sippin’ you

But there’s only celluloid heaven on 7 and heartache on Channel 2

And Oh Darlin’ I’m in a violent mood

So frustrated ‘cause the x-rated flicks ain’t on my tube

I gave up all my good intentions I threw up all the bad

I ate the Easter egg I bought for you it was the only egg I had

I thought long and moody ‘bout what I’d do to you

Wanted to see it all on my TV but got heartache on Channel 2

And Oh Darlin’ I’m in a violent mood

So frustrated ‘cause the x-rated flicks ain’t on my tube

So I’m drunk now and the kero has run out

The drinking session swelled my depression I’m in another bout

I’d like to land a killer blow but I’m too drunk and I’m too cold

And I’d like to die tomorrow but I’m only ten years old

And Oh Darlin’ I’m in a violent mood

So frustrated ‘cause the x-rated flicks ain’t on my tube